Autoblow To Give Away $10,000 In First Ever Scrotal Beauty Pageant

By on November 21, 2015

CHICAGO — Entrepreneur Brian Sloan, inventor of the crowdfunded robotic oral sex simulator Autoblow 2, the 3-orificed 3Fap, and the holder of a worldwide vaginal beauty contest, has launched a first ever beauty pageant for men: for their balls. With a Christmas deadline, men worldwide have 40 days to upload a photo of their scrotums to where the public will cast votes, ranging from one to ten stars, on each set.

Sloan will award cash prizes to the men ($5,000, $3000, and $2,000) with the top three rated scrotums after they undergo 3d scanning. In Sloan’s pitch video for the contest, he says he will turn the winner’s scrotums into “paperweights, doorstops, bookends, and other decorative items” which he thinks a “small percentage of the public will find to be irresistible purchases.”

After Sloan’s Vaginal Beauty Pageant concluded, he hired a PhD data scientist to write the Vulva Paper, which used the data gathered from the millions of contest visitors in 191 countries to shed light onto vulva style preferences around the world. At the conclusion of the Balls Contest, the same scientist will analyze the photo submissions and IP data to write the Balls Paper, which will explore factors relating to perceptions of scrotal beauty as well as cultural preferences regarding scrotal appearance around the world.

To enter, contestants must hold a piece of paper in the photo that reads “Autoblow Balls Contest” and should avoid making their penises the focus of the photo, lest their penises influence their balls score. Although the 3d scrotum scans cannot be turned into sleeves for Sloan’s Autoblow 2 as the vulva scans were, Sloan is still optimistic about the number of submissions he’ll receive based only on the fact that the winners can say they have a “prize winning sets of nuts” and be telling the truth.

The recent viral film about Sloan’s Vaginal Beauty Contest amplified criticism that the female contest was creepy, sexist, “misogynist manure.” Sloan intends to address these allegations, except for the one about the contest being creepy, by investigating male genital beauty in the same way. Will the Internet react the same way when it’s about men?

Balls Contest Link:

Balls Contest Video Link:

Contact Brian Sloan:

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