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3fap: The Most Absurd Crowdfunded Product In History Now Exists

By on June 21, 2017

Crowdfunded on Indiegogo to the tune of $50,000 in October, 2015, 3fap, the creation of Autoblow 2 inventor Brian Sloan, is now a reality. As Brian Sloan saw it, men’s masturbation devices lacked a critical yet easy to fix feature: variation. Although plenty of devices existed, every one of them permitted men to experience only a single sensation per masturbation event. How did he fix that? Easy: by sticking 3 differently textured orifices directly next to one another and by allowing users to adjust the suction level felt inside each channel. Viola: choices.

3fap is not pretty. Back in 2015, Gizmodo called it “an awkward 4 pound masturbation sleeve.” Vice (Motherboard) wrote “everything about the 3Fap looks horrendous.” Maxim said it was “the three-headed Cerberus of sex toys”. But Buzzfeed, overlooking its ergonomics, wrote “The Wait Is Over: You Can Now Put Your Penis In A Mouth-Vagina-Anus Robot.”

And now it’s a reality: men can lube up, choose an orifice, and go to town with the most-difficult-to-explain-to-anyone-who-accidentally-finds-it-under-your-bed sex toy for men, ever.

Inventor Brian Sloan stated, “With 3fap, men can move past the boring sensation of the single dip and past the better but still commonplace double dip, to uncharted masturbatory territory: the triple dip. Because of my invention, men can dip, dip again, and yes, dip again. I believe men will overlook my product’s strange appearance and focus on the only thing that really matters: their penises. I will continue for the rest of my life to work tirelessly on behalf of all men to create new and better masturbatory sensations. I will push beyond the triple dip.”

The product comes with one mouth/vulva/anus sleeve but as an accessory, men may opt to purchase a sleeve made from the 3 most beautiful vulvas in the world which Sloan personally 3d scanned during his 2015 event, The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest.

3fap.com

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